The recent snow has left many a householder confined to their dwelling. It was a good time to sort out the arcane intricacies of a recently installed wireless, high-speed cable system.
Men are fond of pretending they understand all things technical. Decades ago that might have been true. We could find the on/off button on the TV; we could select one of the 12 channels available; we could even replace a non-functional vacuum tube (assuming one could move the 300 pound set). Then the transistor was invented which made things more compact and required sophisticated equipment to repair. That was only the beginning.
Now most households have a flat screen TV that contains more electronics and computer capability than was found in the early Apollo missions to the moon. To successfully navigate all that technology requires multiple remote devices; a degree in electrical engineering would be helpful. The alternative is to have a teenage male in the home that seems to have a cortical link to things electronic that is missing in the adults.
Add to that the complexity of a wireless connection and one is really in the space age. Six remotes are about the average in the up-to-date household. There are 252 separate buttons with which one can deal in trying to get to the proper location and that doesn’t include the multiple menu options found on each remote.
If one looks at the innards of the flat screen TV you are in for a real surprise, particularly if you have wandered through the maze of an old-fashioned TV. In the current iteration there is virtually nothing behind the screen: two 4×6 circuit boards . . . that’s it. If it were not for printed circuits all the electronic power contained in the tiny components would fill up a house.
When the technician came to install such a system, which is said to take 15 minutes, he finally finished in a little over three hours. He raced through the instructions for the remote with dancing fingers that give the message that he has done this thousands of times. In less than a minute the information for operating the master remote (which contains 75 buttons) was done and he was out the door on to the next cable/satellite dish subscriber with a cheery, “It’s very simple; have a good day!”
Oh, if it were only that easy.
The only option which the user is free to exercise is trial and error. No instruction booklet was included with the setup which now has hundreds of channels from which the viewer may choose. Of course, the real fear is that incorrect buttons will be selected sending the message to the little circuit boards that the operator has no clue what he is doing.
This leads to a total shattering of the illusion that such information is already resident in the adult male brain. Further demoralizing will be the admission to the other members of the household that the skill set needed is not accessible (and never will be) to the owner.
The solution to this dilemma is the surrendering of the fantasy mentioned at the outset; our world is overrun with technology that defies mastery by the elderly (read >60 years) mind. To avoid further angst it is wise to stop randomly punching buttons on the “master remote” and settle down to watch the tranquil falling of the snow. At least we have some understanding of how that works, even while being stymied in finding a TV station that has some relevance to entertainment or worthwhile data.
How ironic that such a marvel of engineering has so much brainless content! Maybe the producers of such shows recognize their offerings match the IQ of the owner.
– Hayden Hollingsworth
