Well, here we are again.
The first days of February are upon us. That means the “love” month, Groundhog Day, my weather prediction and the annual rundown on Super Bowl LIII proposition bets.
Not much to discuss on the Valentine’s Day holiday except that my Ouija says the price of roses and candy will see a substantial increase in 2019. You can always skirt that cost spiral by taking your honey to Dollar Tree where prices always seem stabilized.
Regarding the groundhog, which also goes by the names chuck, woodchuck, groundpig, whistlepig, whistler, thick wood badger, Canada marmot, Monax, moonack, weenusk, red monk and siffleux, it just seems like it has too many aliases to trust for a weather prediction. Yes, you always learn something when you read this column.
On the weather front, why wander from the Ouija on this one? I give it to you straight without trying to use the trendy lines about an inverted vortex, or wanting to look at a whistlepig’s shadow on February 2nd. That being said, the prediction here is we’ll have a humdinger of a snow before the Ides of March. For readers that need help with the Ides, it’s March 15. Warm up the shovels.
Now, for our betting public, the best of Super Bowl LIII proposition bets straight from my Vegas cohort, Harry “The Weasel”.
You can get 9,999 to 1 odds (equivalent of + 999,900 / bet $100 to win $999,900) that the Patriots or Rams will score exactly four points. It’s only happened once before in NFL history; a 1923 game in which the Racine Legion beat the Chicago Cardinals 10-4.
The chance that Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine will be shirtless during the halftime performance (+ 1,862).
Pick if Gladys Knight will sing the National Anthem in less than or more than 1 minute, 47 seconds.
The over/under of 1.5 on how many times the age of Rams coach Sean McVey (33) will be mentioned. Over is favored at -175.
Will the NHL Washington Capitals goals against the Boston Bruins on Feb. 3 be higher or lower than the total quarterback sacks by both teams in the Super Bowl.
You can also pick heads or tails on the coin toss, plus, will the first TD be scored by an odd or even jersey player. There’s many more just as obscure.
Additionally, I’m adding some prop bet odds on The Star with Super Bowl LIII.
Odds The Chief will throw a Super Bowl Party; 67 to 1. The odds I’ll be invited if he does, 284 to 1.
After last month’s column, the chance Arnold Ziffle will be the bartender. Even money.
Over/under 219 on how many 16oz. beers The Chief will have iced down. Smart money will take “over”.
Odds that The Chief (or Arnold) will change the TV channel to Family Feud during the game; -250.
Now, to local events where things seem somewhat more predictable.
Latest VHSL football awards from the “Big-11.”
Class 4 Offensive All-State Second Team: Sam Dantzler (Wm. Byrd) offensive all-purpose.
The Roanoke Valley Sports Club meets Tuesday, February 19 for one of the most popular nights of the year: Media Night. Catch local writers from print media along with Travis Wells of WDBJ7 on what’s going on in sports. Bring your questions to the always-lively program. Things get started at the Salem Civic Center at 5:45 for the social, followed by dinner and the program. Contact Maggie Drewry at 540-353-1103 to make reservations or purchase tickets on-line at www.roanokevalleysportsclub.com.
Get on board with the Roanoke Rail Yard Dawgs home lineup at the Berglund Center in February. Three straight Friday-Saturday matchups, February 1-2, 8-9 and 15-16. Six games on the Berglund pond.
Be ready to support local girls and boys high school basketball as our “Big-11” teams begin tournament play in early February leading to state playoff action later in the month.
Bummed out by my snowfall prognostication? Baseball is right around the corner. The Salem Red Sox open their 2019 home season on Thursday, April 11 against the Frederick Keys.
That’s a wrap. Someone at corporate headquarters apparently saw a tuxedo-clad pig heading across the lawn with a TV guide. Let the wagering begin.