I became reacquainted with this acronym for the word “fear” in my business development class this week- the letters stand for: False Evidence Appearing Real. The instruction that followed was to “fight fear with facts” in the context of buyer’s remorse, that is. I appreciated the approach that as true professionals, our job is to help our clients buy or not to buy- whatever is in their best interest. Reminds me of a New Yorker cartoon I recently shared with a fellow Realtor and friend, Hamlet’s Duplex: 2B or Not 2B.
I digress.
My first published piece was on fear actually. It was entitled Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You (not my words, mind you, but Eleanor Roosevelt’s). Fear can cause us to turn inward, I think- at times to our detriment. I met a woman on Sunday who seemed to be fearless and not surprisingly, focused outward. She is 98 years old, walks with the aid of an apparatus and apparently cannot see well at all due to her macular degeneration. My bending over so that my eyes would meet hers was not difficult as I was doubled over in laughter most of the time she talked.
She goes to the hospital three times per week. Not to be treated, but to treat. Not to be healed, but to heal. She sits with families whose loved ones are undergoing vascular surgery and tells them jokes- such as, “What do you get when you cross a pig with a laundry mat? Hogwash!” Once while at the beauty parlor, she was quite literally tracked down and summoned to the hospital right away. This was her response in her delicious Southern drawl, “Honey, I didn’t have my lips on, I didn’t have my eyebrows on and my ‘perm clothes’ were drenched. I went anyway.” As I considered what an inspiration she was to me and I’m sure, countless others, it hit me.
Living is giving.
Winston Churchill once said, “We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.” I have to continually remind myself of this, especially when I’m inclined to crawl into the proverbial fetal position and throw myself the grandest of pity parties. So much so, I could be an event planner (for myself ). Just as Christ gave His life for us, we too must pour our lives OUT for others in order to experience a joy not of our own making, a joy which can mysteriously coexist with and transcend tears and yes, even suffering. This requires that we do our part to deal with fear and worry; to nourish, not diminish, our spirits; and to pay attention.
I have read that trust displaces fear and worry, and trust has become my mantra. I offer my youngest daughter a slightly different version, however, as she exits my van for 7th grade. “Be brave and kind,” I say. I suspect she now tunes me out, but the first time I said it got her attention. She looked at me incredulously and replied, “Mom, I’m going to school, not court.” This made me laugh- as well as listen. Frederick Buechner viewed “the humdrum events of our lives as an alphabet that God uses to speak to us- the simple moments of dropping the kids off at school, doing a day’s work, coming home again.”
Or volunteering at the hospital…when you’re 98 years old.
– Caroline Watkins
You have just the right words at just the right time!!
Thank you.