This Gandhi quote is going to appear on t-shirts I bought to commemorate our upcoming trip to Haiti. My son and two daughters are accompanying me to “Life Is Hope Orphanage” in Port-au-Prince in less than two weeks. I was immediately drawn to this expression as it seems to sum up a valuable lesson I have learned over the last two years. Well, at least the first part.
I work in partnership with someone who has been a full time Realtor for 35 years. Together we have sold big, expensive houses to and for our clients. Ironically, I have been a tenant in a not-so-big apartment, then house, for the last two years. Here’s what I have learned: it doesn’t take much to make you happy as long as you have what you need. This, of course, can be defined in vastly differently ways for each person.
Shelter is a really important factor! The prospect of not having it has been highly unsettling.
The owner of the place where I have been living is returning to the area sooner than I expected. Unlike last year when the reality was: if I find something better, I’ll move; this year there is no “if “and no “better”… necessarily. I never realized how all-consuming a mandatory housing search can be, and it has me thinking about what it would be like to be homeless.
I watched a clip from Upworthy on the subject in which it was proposed that $45,000 spent on a condo for a homeless person is a far better investment than the same amount of money cycling him or her in and out of mental hospitals and even the ER. This would seem to be an exceedingly valid point. The possibility of not having some place to go has engendered not just anxiety but lack of focus at work and irritability at home- just ask my kids. It’s destabilizing. I couldn’t even write today’s piece until this morning- a first.
So I have found a place, one I would never buy but has what I need…for now. A clean, comfortable, bright space with 4 bedrooms (even though I will have two in college, this is still nice), and especially for the two remaining at home: a yard, albeit small; proximity to schools and to a village I have grown to love; and a large neighborhood for my youngest daughter, the social animal.
There you have it. Shelter + family = home. Here’s what I won’t have: an HVAC system to replace, huge yard to maintain, long list of chores every weekend nor the consumption of time and resources making a property to which I have title bigger and better. There is a certain amount of precious freedom which comes with lessee territory.
This freedom has allowed not just one but soon-to-be three trips to a country that has captured my heart. I don’t feel I am helping others in Haiti live through my living more simply, unless you believe that “loving on” orphans helps them live somehow and as a result, offers them a shred of hope. Many of these orphans, in fact, have parents who are still alive but who cannot provide for them as well as the orphanage. This is shocking considering the state of their current housing which is inadequate and meals which are unreliable. I have not yet channeled my resources to buy them needed beds or even food. Just time. I show up – on my vacation – with a soccer ball and some of my children.
My son feels that I should have diverted some of the money spent on travel to and lodging (uh, glorified camping) in Haiti towards a car, yet I have not made that choice since we have (beat up) vehicles that are safe and functional . . . for the most part. This is my choice. He may feel differently after coming with me – he may not. I remember a conversation I had with one of our translators who was so grateful to have a home standing after the earthquake even though 7 kids slept in one bedroom and his parents in another. Many of his friends did not have this “luxury”.
Anne Lamott suggests, “You can’t achieve, lease, buy or date what you are looking for. Nothing out there will fill the holes inside you . . .”
The orphans in Haiti, the only ones to whom I have been exposed, have nothing, yet they have everything. They have faith, hope, love and inexplicable joy. Soon they will have a new building with new beds on which to sleep, grass on which to play as well as 3 consistent meals per day. It may seem self sacrificing to spend time with them, but it’s quite arguably the opposite because of what you gain. A sense of perspective on what really matters is one of many gains.
Serving in a third world country can’t help but change you and what you deem as a need and as . . . enough. Please consider it for yourself and your children. Anything can transform us, however, if we allow it – loss, illness and yes, the life-giving love from the “least of these.” If you have experienced a transformation on any level, reflect upon Oswald Chambers’ powerful words:
“Beware of…going back to what you once were, when God wants you to be something you have never been.”
– Caroline Watkins