Everyone has the experience, usually multiple times a day that if there is one more interruption, one more distraction, or another red light it will be the preamble to a meltdown. Just the word “meltdown” is a new addition to our language. Before that epiphanous movie, The China Syndrome, we had never heard such a term. Three Mile Island put flesh on those bones and it has now been expanded to what happens with emotional overload . . . and not just with children. We are so accustomed to multitasking that it lights a fuse that leads to mental exhaustion.
The causes are multiple and different for each person and even variable within the same individual. Sometimes a person can stand enormous stress; other times, the tolerance may be considerably lessened. I’m not concerned about the causes as much as I am about the prevention. It’s all well and good to know what causes the flu but the really important issue is the prevention. The same is true with emotional overload. We certainly can take steps to ease the tension; that’s what vacations purportedly do.
Taking time to refocus, to really unwind and relax is important and there are many ways to do that. One that has not occurred to most of us is a visit to a Retreat House. In such circumstances, removing oneself entirely from everything familiar is quite different from a vacation. On a trip the world is changed by new surroundings but still full of distractions. Sometimes the arranging of those distractions is a stress in itself. If you have done much air travel in the last decade no explanation is needed. Even the vacation itself poses some of the same stress with which we live every day, albeit in a different setting.
A Retreat House avoids all that. It is an act of withdrawing to a place of peace and solitude, a place of refuge, a place without distractions. A visit to a monastery will supply that. I have talked with a number of people about such an idea and I generally get a look of wonderment. “What do you do? I would be climbing the walls in the first five minutes.” Yes, that’s probably true if a carefully made plan is not in place.
Pick a monastery that has no television, no cell phone access, and no internet. Don’t take entertaining materials, CDs of books, or DVDs that are popular; a laptop is helpful for keeping a journal. My skeptical friends say, “Well, you can do that at home. Why go off to a monastery?” Wrong. You can’t do it at home. There is garbage to take out, the cat with which to contend, food to prepare, the phone will ring, the email will be there, the paper to read, the mail must be brought in, and a thousand other distractions that surround us every day.
In a monastery with a Retreat House all of that is removed. You are provided with a Spartan single room, a desk, a chair with a reading light, a bed, and a private bath. Meals are supplied and satisfying. There are no programs to attend, no lectures, nothing beyond simple instructions when you arrive, and settle in for five days. It takes a bit to get into the new rhythm, particularly since there is no speaking in the Retreat House. Years ago, when I first had such an adventure my children irreverently said, “You not speaking for a week . . . now that would be a miracle!”
You must have a plan before going. Think of all the really important books you have meant to read, all the teaching DVD courses you have wanted to take, all the important things you have wanted to write and leave to your children, or learning to meditate. This is the time to do it. You can use the DVD/CD player on your laptop, but you must use earphones. Simply sitting quietly by the river and listening mindfully to the surrounding sounds is restorative. Listen to myriad of bird song, the geese honks, the duck calls, and the cows on the hillside . . . all sounds suggesting worlds where we cannot go.
There are many monasteries that have Retreat Houses. No questions are asked, no introductions are given; you make a reservation and show up. There is generally no set charge, although the opportunity for a contribution is suggested by an envelope left in your room. The amount is purely voluntary. If you leave the envelop empty that would be a pretty good indicator that you need to come back and try again.
Check out Holy Cross Abbey at Berryville, VA on line, or give them a call at 540-955-9440. One word of caution: When you leave and get back on the Interstate, remember the speed limit is 70, not the 35 mph at which you will find yourself driving.
