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English Soccer Is Hard On The Brain

byMike Keeler

Americans are increasingly fascinated by that other version of “football,” from the other side of The Pond. But it can get a little confusing.  So, as we approach the season’s climax, here’s a quick recap from the touchline, to help you understand it all.
In this week’s Manchester Derby, City beat United 1-nil, seemingly assuring the noisy neighbors of their first-ever Premiership Trophy. But hang on! They have to travel Tyneside to face Newcastle, who are in 5th place and fighting for a spot in the Champion’s League. (And if Chelsea beats Bayern in Munich on May 19th, they would get an automatic berth for 2013, leaving only 3 other spots open.) So the Geordies have a lot to play for, and are in top form, having won at Stamford Bridge this week for the first time since 1986. City’s other game is against QPR, who sit in 17th place and need to climb out of the drop zone. By comparison, the Red Devils’ remaining games are against 12th-placed Swans and 11th-placed Black Cats, with seemingly little to play for.

Liverpool watched Chelsea’s struggle this week against the Magpies with interest, in advance of this Saturday’s FA Cup Final. If the Reds fall against the Blues at Wembley, King Kenny will have little to show the Anfield faithful, outside the Carling Cup. On the other hand, Chelsea losses in the FA and EUFA Cups would mark a bitter end to Roberto Di Matteo’s term as caretaker and stoke rumors of “The Special One” returning.

And speaking of managers, what the ‘ells up with ‘Arry? With the aggro of being passed over as national team skipper, Redknapp suddenly has Spurs back in 4th with games remaining at Villains and against Fulham at the Lane. Surprisingly, Roy Hodgson has been given “the impossible job” of leading the Three Lions into Euro 2012; long-suffering fans have been puzzled by the choice, asking “Woy from West Bwom? Weawy?” And the Potters are still “doing the Wenger” in delight after Stoke drew with the Gunners, leaving a mere 5 points separating 3rd and 6th.

There! Two weeks to go, three pieces of hardware in the mix, and now you understand it all.

Have a go. Enjoy the footie.

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