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Wild Bill’s Weekly Sports Roundup

by Bill Turner

District high school races head into the final two weeks of the regular season and all of our local ‘Big-11’ teams are right in the mix.

It’s too close to call in the Western Valley, River Ridge, Blue Ridge and Three Rivers as we head into the home stretch.  There may be several surprises as the road to Richmond unfolds.

Despite the log-jam of quality play, here’s a look at this week’s Wild Bill Top-5, which is far from a scientific calculation. But, nevertheless, read on. This week we hear from a team asking for a pre-game Ouija, plus a couple more looks at what is, or is not, a Wild Bill thumbs-up on late night TV product pitches.

#1- Patrick Henry: The Patriots continue to hold down the top spot after improving to 13-3 with Monday night’s win over Friendship Collegiate on the road. PH is still the Wild Bill pick to nab the Western Valley regular season title.

#2- William Fleming: I’ve been catching heat on this one, but I’m standing pat on Mickey Hardy’s 11-7 squad after their 64-29 blowout over Halifax County Tuesday night. Here’s a Wild Bill fan-favorite tip: Want to see the next big hoop star from the Roanoke Valley? Check out Fleming’s Warren Craft. The real deal.

#3- Salem: The Spartans (11-5) narrowly grab the third spot among a mix of several potential pollbusters. Salem looks solid, but in the River Ridge, you can fall off the cliff in a hurry.

#4- Northside: The Vikings (9-6) are looking to make a statement in the Blue Ridge and they have the guns to do just that. A key showdown will be with Rockbridge County at the Northside gym. Don’t underestimate a Billy Pope team.

#5-Tie Hidden Valley and Glenvar: Hidden Valley (8-8) is making its usual late season charge, and the Titans are tied for second in the River Ridge race. With a pair of games left with Salem and Pulaski, as well as Christiansburg and rival Cave Spring on the docket, Troy Wells will earn his keep.

Ditto for Glenvar, as the Highlanders (13-6) look to make a statement in the Three Rivers. No doubt, upcoming battles with Floyd County and Radford are no bargain.

Next, the Wild Bill unusual game of the week. This one falls squarely in the lap of the Carlisle-Holy Cross girls matchup Monday night. Hard to argue it’s important to come out of the gate strong in basketball. Carlisle obviously took note. The Lady Chiefs led 35-0 after one quarter, on their way to the 80-13 win.

The Wild Bill Ouija has resurfaced this week after a coach, whose young team stands winless, has given a thumbs up to a Ouija next Tuesday night. No need to discuss this further, but watch for the results next week.

Finally, the Wild Bill late-night TV ads move to a new level this week with the review of the Princess Amanda jewelry line and the must-buy doggy Potty Patch.

I’m giving a five-star thumbs-up to the Princess Amanda ‘Big-Bang Cocktail Ring’. Admittedly, I haven’t been able to track down which Eastern European or Latin American country the Princess hails from. But, no one likes a cocktail party better than I do and there’s no better way to end one than with a big bang. At under $70, a certified Wild Bill bargain.

On the other hand, the Princess Amanda neckless seems suspect. The pitch says 50 Guatamalan women have been taking 400 years to make the thing. I’m trying to extrapolate the hourly wage . . . no wonder world economies are down.

Last, but not least, the Potty Patch. A gadget, which looks like a door mat, that your dog supposedly runs to in order to urinate indoors. The pitch says it’s easy to empty and odor-free. C’mon guys…. odor-free? If this thing works, I’m in trouble. My wife will be converting my marble bathroom to shag carpet tout-suite.

Well, it’s time to go . . . My goodness, I worded that badly. See you next week.

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