Well, either they have just returned or will be returning soon to their youthful, almost full-time jobs….school. We may not see school as jobs, but at every stage of life we perform some task that ends in us getting our needs and some of our wants met. In adulthood it is our career path or role as caregiver. As a child, it is most definitely school. When we look at our children’s academic obligation in this fashion it can help to clarify our role in assisting them in being successful employees in two main ways. We are to prepare them for success in the work (academic) environment and we are to support the chain of command (teachers) that they operate under.
Preparing our children to be successful in school begins at home. These areas are not all encompassing but are consistent sore spots when trying to get our children up to speed with the start of school. How we help them organize their days and manage their schedules and activities will set the stage for performing well academically. Here are 5 elements of successful students:
They need a bedtime. School age children do well with an average of 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. To achieve this kids need a regular sleep and wake schedule. The structure of knowing when the day ends and begins sets the tone for most other activities in a child’s life and is typically adapted to in relatively little time.
Second, feed them in a healthy manner. I still remember watching “Fat Albert” and seeing Bill Cosby making the point that food is our fuel and we are the cars. If we don’t get it regularly, we break down. I don’t think much has changed in the last 40 years. Provide healthy alternatives to junk food and have consistency in meal time when possible.
Next, limit electronic interference. The beginning of school is a great time for there to be a new sheriff in town. Put up the games and cut off the 24 hour internet access/Facebook for the first few weeks. Keep it that way until they can demonstrate they are being dutiful employees; completing assignments and getting to bed and up on time without a fuss. If this interference is not removed, the battle for the minds and attention of our children is ten-fold more difficult.
Four, have a set homework/study time. If your child is making straight A’s by standing on their head in the corner while studying, so be it. Other than that it is vital that kids adapt to a structured process of learning in the home. I recommend that once a child is home, they can get a snack but then it is homework before anything else is allowed. With this model kids quickly understand that in this home, school and my level of achievement is important.
Last but not least, the wonderful and dreaded cell phone. I am a little old fashioned and believe that cell phones are for emergencies, typically should be owned by people that drive, etc. With that disclaimer out of the way, limit the cell phone use of your children. While there are many kids that don’t abuse (overuse) the talking or texting privilege, most do, especially texting. That is what the industry counts on. Texting provides a constant interruption to every activity of life for our children. Cut off phone use during homework and study time, during school, at dinner, etc. Also consider that cell phones work so hard during the day they need a bedtime as well, in a separate room from our children and prior to evening. Tell the kids to use the house phone, if you still have one.
Now that you have prepared your child, you must support the chain of command. Over the last twenty years I have met or worked with hundreds of teachers in the valley. The vast majority of them love teaching and the notion of being a healthy role model for our children. Yet, parents so easily side against them when there is a problem academically. It can be as simple as reviewing the class rules at the beginning of school and commenting that they are “silly” or “don’t worry about it, she probably isn’t that bad.”
When we undermine the teachers, we may annoy them, but we most definitely handicap our children in the academic environment. For our children to get the most out of their academic careers, they need to respect those teaching them. When we respect them, it is easier for our children to. Yes, teachers make mistakes, so do we. Yes, we need to be advocates for our children, but we also need to be advocates for their teachers. I have often wondered how the same child that we see only marginally credible at home in matters of poor behavior and blame, enters into a school building and is immediately transformed into this credible, reliable, infallible witness to the wrongdoings of his teacher. When there is a problem, talk to the teachers first, without your child around. Be positive about each teachers role and the importance for your children to be appropriate in class, respectful and obedient to authority.
Our role is to do everything possible to help them succeed in school. They are however, ultimately responsible for the outcome. When they complain, remind them that this is their job. When our children see that we are standing with their teachers and holding them accountable for their academic life, they will take it more seriously and have more success.
By Keith McCurdy [email protected]