For weeks I have been watching a mamma Robin diligently tend her nest in the climbing rose bush outside my back door. While she kept a watchful eye as we came and went – her determination never wavered. Her job was to protect the four brilliant blue eggs – and she was succeeding.
Saturday morning was the big event. I suddenly saw a tiny yellow beak pop up over the edge of the nest. Momma Robin was now tirelessly flying from the grass to the nest with little bits of food. While I didn’t want to upset her task – I couldn’t contain myself. I gathered up a stepladder, mirror and camera to see the newest members of the neighborhood. First there was one…then two…then three. I marveled at the accomplishment of this small creature — lovingly producing three offspring…but it was the fourth blue egg sitting in the nest that got me thinking.
Was she sad one hadn’t hatched – or happy for three healthy babies? Did she see it as a 25% failure or 75% success? As I watched her switch from “nurturer/protector” mode to “teaching them how to survive the world” mode – I was suddenly struck by the similarities of human behavior. My mind immediately focused on all the parents who – during this graduation season – are watching their kids “leave the nest.”
In the coming days – thousands of young adults will heading out into the world. It’s staggering and exciting to think that among the graduates walking across a stage — diploma in hand – will be the future President of the United States, future Supreme Court Justices, Nobel Prize winners, inventors, teachers, scientists and artists. What mark will these young minds make on the world where we live?
As I watched this Robin take care of her young – a different question came to mind. What is the impact we have made on these graduates who are now entering adulthood? Let’s face it…. kids learn their lessons from adults. What is our responsibility as mentors, role models, parents, advisors, teachers, neighbors, and friends? What kind of example are we setting?
Have we instilled confidence or fostered dependency? Have we modeled grace or tolerated selfishness? Have we offered boundaries or created obstacles? Have failures been lessons or simply punishments? Have we built self-esteem or created a sense of entitlement? Have we set the example of forgiveness or judgment? Have we raised children to create the world we want – or raised them to survive the world we created?
So, as we scurry about to purchase the best gift for graduation — perhaps the best thing we can give is some thoughtful reflections on the lessons we intended and some encouragement on the world we know they can create. Chances are the graduation pen will run out of ink and the watch will fall out of style – but your words will leave an indelible mark.
Last – but not least — I encourage you to take a few moments to think about the momma Robin and the simplicity of her annual parenting ritual. Make a home and stay close by. Keep them warm and feed them well. Celebrate the successes and forgive the failures. Teach them the basics and show them the world. And finally…. let them fly.
By Stephanie Koehler [email protected]