Sometimes two is really enough – as in couples who opt not to have children. Roanoke County resident Laura S. Scott and her husband made that choice and now she has written about it in a new book, “Two is Enough: A Couple’s Guide to Living Childless By Choice.” Scott also shot video when she interviewed more than 100 people for her “Childless by Choice” project, footage she is now assembling for a television documentary. Scott writes screenplays as well, although that is more of a hobby at this point.
Scott, who appeared on NBC’s Today Show recently to talk about her book, couldn’t find much material about those that chose to remain childless for reasons they can control. “There hadn’t been much written on the topic, particularly about couples that had made that choice,” said the Canadian native, who moved to southwest Virginia about 20 years ago. “Most of the books had been written [for] women.”
So Scott set out to survey almost 200 people, including men, who are heard from in her book. Those who remain childless by choice still battle stereotypes she notes, being viewed as selfish and lazy for starters. She called the decision made with her husband a compromise and a “negotiation,” although Scott told him on an early date that kids weren’t on her radar screen. “If one person really wants a child and the other one does not, it’s a tough road.”
Scott, who will speak at Hollins on March 3, advises to have the “kid conversation” early in a relationship if it looks like things might get serious. The reasons couples remain childless are multiple; some like life the way it is and don’t see a child as enhancing it. “They don’t feel a void that a child can fill.” Some don’t want the “huge responsibility” of raising a child while others simply don’t like children or are around them all day, perhaps as a teacher.
Peer pressure from parents and friends wanting “baby buddies,” makes it tough on some childless couples, who sometimes separate from some of their friends when those people start having children. “About twenty percent of American women remain childless at age 40,” said Scott, a percentage that is creeping upward. She didn’t find much “evidence of regret,” while surveying childless couples. “You can be happy and fulfilled as a child-free person.”
However, “there is a stigma,” warns Scott. “People will think you’re strange or selfish [or that] something’s wrong.” Recession and economic depression also helps lower birth rates as well. “I think people recognize now that parenthood has moved from an assumption to a decision. You do have a choice in the matter.”
Laura S. Scott will speak about her book on March 3 at Hollins University, at 4:30 p.m. in the Green Drawing Room.
By Gene Marrano [email protected]