The Many Ways and Wonders of Friendship

Lucky Garvin
Lucky Garvin

Friendship has been defined as like unto slipping into a comfortable old pair of shoes. As commonly as this wondrous connection may occur, very little is known of how – exactly – friendship comes about; what factors determine the depth and life-span of a bonding, etc.. I know this because so much has been written about it, and ‘tis said, the more that’s recorded on a subject, the less is known of it; a proportionate inverse, so to speak.

If you ever hear or read the statement that ‘Lucky had a gathering with four hundred of his closest friends,’ rest assured the ‘Lucky’ in question ain’t me.

I might have been born a gregarious chap, but being raised in rural near-isolation, moving from high school to The Citadel [where privacy was non-existent], to med school [ditto], and then to forty years of Emergency Medicine practice has all combined to make me a rather insular fellow. I mean, look at how I spend most of my days: wildlife rescue – with others, of course, but woodturning and writing aren’t exactly team sports.

At last counting, I had about five friends, other than my kids: the first is me [I feel it’s very necessary, yea healthy, to be your own best friend], another friend I married, another I grew up with [Denny], and one or two others, I met along the way.

I think back now to one of them, a fellow I met while we were both in the Virginia National Guard many long years ago. I hung out with and recreated with many young men in those days, but for some reason he has stayed closely bound to me all these years.

Why him of all the others? I don’t know. Common interests, of course, but there’s something more, something indescribable, by me at last. He and I may not see each other for months at a time, but get us back together and we pick things up right where we left off.

As with my other friends – and this includes my Sabrina – tendrils began to reach out and gather a cloying togetherness we don’t even feel and soon became indestructible.

As it is with human bonds, closeness or specialness comes in all variations between animals too. Sometimes it develops slowly, sometimes in an instant, and sets to various degrees of firmness, closeness and duration.

I remember the day we bought our ‘rescue’ Doberman, Thor, home, I felt no small amount of trepidation that he would blend in. Arriving home from the city pound, I left him in the back yard and cautiously opened up the back door.

Out strode Lola, our friendliest Dobie. She looked at him, he looked at her, and without so much as a passing sniff of the tail – so common in dog introductions – they began to sprint gleefully across the lawn. They have been fast friends ever since. It was almost as it they were long-lost friends – or spirits – rejoined at last. Thor’s relationship with the other dogs and cats took place at a more predictable rhythm.

But now I am observing a much prolonged acquaintance between our new rescue cat ‘Cassie’ and Napoleon.  [‘Nappi’ is the cat who is convinced he’s a Doberman.]

Cassie comes from a home where she was the only cat. She spent her days in a dark room, avoiding all human contact. The family decided this did not conduce to her mental health, so we adopted her.

She is housed in an open, well-lit room, very unlike her earlier years. Any of our other pets who wander onto her turf to learn more about the unusual scent are met with a hissy-fit. Napoleon tried to introduce himself only to find Cassie most aggressive.

Napoleon’s response to this was to back off a bit, and just stare at Cassie. When Cassie would climb her cat tree, he would climb one surface higher, and just lie there while she hissed. Napoleon would remain calm, very patient, ignoring the terrified Cassie’s false-feints.

Napoleon then began to make little ‘mews’ as if to say, “Why don’t you want to play with me?’  This process took weeks as Sabrina predicted it would.

But now, the circle closed, Napoleon and Cassie chase each other madly around Cassie’s large room, having fun at last. On top of that, they both get much-needed exercise.

Cassie has begun to sit – even sleep on my lap. Two nights ago, both Cassie and Napoleon lay on my lap; not for long, but it’s a beginning. Some friendships are slowly forged… maybe the best, most enduring ones. Maybe, as in this case, a threesome.

– Lucky Garvin

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