There is a time when our situation seems too much to bear. It may be physical, mental, or spiritual agony. Our life may have lost its meaning. We don’t really want to die. But we want to end the situation. In the darkness of our soul, we limit our options to ending our “pain” or ending our life.
The Suicide Mind is clouded by ambivalence, an extremely disturbing mental state of having two opposing feelings at the same time. Picture the horrific stressful situation that led to the awful ambivalence itself.
You feel driven to make the most critical and perhaps the last decision you will ever make. But you are confused, uncertain, andsuffering more than ever in your life.
Some people with The Suicide Mind find a way out of the painful prison of ambivalence. They “leave it up to God,” or the less religious “leave it up to chance.”
They frame their thoughts like this: “I will shoot myself or hang myself, or drive my car into a wall, or take poison, and God or chance will determine whether I live or die.”
Factual data about suicide is readily available, but it fails to convey the unbearable distress and cognitive distortions that enter into the soul of those who think suicide is the only solution.
The ever-increasing suicide rate will diminish when we appreciate, understand, emphasize, and truly know The Suicide Mind.
I want to enhance your sensitivity and confidence to identify those among you who may have an increased risk of suicide and suggest how to respond to them with hope.
How to Help those with The Suicide Mind
- Learn to listen with the “third ear,” hearing what’s said and not said.
- People with The Suicide Mind will talk about it.
- We listen to the radio, TV, cell phones, and theinternet, but not to each other.
- Their search for someone who cares is subtle, weak, anduninviting.
- Approach the subject thoughtfully with kindness, dignity, and respect.
- Is the person competent to give and withhold information about suicide?
- In cases of severe symptoms, an involuntary evaluation can be requested.
- Prior suicide attempts mandate hospital evaluation.
- A history of suicide by a family member mandates hospital consultation.
- The CPR for The Suicide Mind calls for an urgent response.
- The Suicide Mind knows we are too busy for them. Prove them wrong!
- Consider their unrelenting suffering and respond caringly with hope.
- A Friend, Priest, Minister, Family MD, Psychiatrist, or hospital can help.
- DO NOT LEAVE THE PERSON ALONE.
Death, no matter its cause, is difficult for most of us. Grief, one of the most emotionally painful experiences we all face, is so unpleasant that many people unsuccessfully attempt to avoid it.
Our review of suicide is relevant because spring, April in particular, is the time of the year when the rate of suicide is highest.
Knowledge of The Suicide Mind will boost your confidence, but it is useless unless you care about the life you may be saving.
Suicide rates among young people have risen globally. Factors include a devaluation of life, social isolation, substance abuse, loss of family significance, prolonged dependency, and widespread anxiety and depression.
For males, suicide increases with the lifespan. An 80-year-old man, for example, is more likely to kill himself than a 40-year-old man.
The rate of suicide for females increases to midlife and then tends to decrease over the lifespan.
Females are more likely to make suicide attempts, but males are much more likely to succeed at suicide.
Once suicide is attempted, the likelihood of more attempts is elevated.
Firearms are the most common method used in suicides.
In 2023, there was one suicidal death every eleven minutes. Additionally, many adults have contemplated or attempted suicide: 12.8 million considered it, 3.7 million planned it, and 1.5 million tried suicide.
In response to the suicide crisis, the federal government launched a nationwide crisis number, 988, in July 2022.
Children’s hospitals report an astounding rise in emergency visits for suicide attempts and self-injury among children aged 5-18 between 2016 and 2022. These conditions are now the most common mental health issues seen in their emergency departments.
Approximately 2 million adolescents attempt suicide each year.
While rare in children younger than 10 years, suicide death rates increase markedly during adolescence and young adulthood.
John Lennon’s song, “Crippled Inside” (1971), repeats the same incorrect message in each verse, one of which is cited: “You can shine you’re shoes and wear a suit; you can comb your hair; and look quite cute.
You can hide your face behind a smile; one thing you can’t hide is when you’re crippled inside.”
The Beatles were our Beethoven’s. I loved the Beatles. Some of my happiest memories are associated with their music, but John Lennon was wrong because many “crippled inside” people hide their true feelings. Hidden feelings contribute to the shock, surprise, and guilt of surviving family members of those who kill themselves.
The suicide of a loved one can lead to feelings of guilt among family members and friends. These strong feelings of guilt may have long-lasting psychological effects. It is important for them to understand that some psychological disorders can be terminal, with causes not fully understood.
The term “suicide” is relatively recent. It appeared in English around the 1650s and in Romance languages like French (“suicide”) and Italian (“suicidio”) during the second half of the eighteenth century.
In the 17th century, suicide was considered a sin. Churches often denied a Christian burial, and burials were conducted at night outside town limits with a stake driven through the corpse.
In the mid-20th century, suicide was considered a crime. In 1956, for example, many of those who attempted suicide in England but survived were sent to prison.
More than 1 in 4 adolescent girls between ages 12 and 19 have depression, “higher than any other demographic group.”
Only 40% of people with depression get counseling or therapy.
Warning signs of suicide are similar to signs of depression:
- Loss of interest in usual activities
- Withdrawing from friends and family members
- Acting out behaviors
- Alcohol and drug use
- Not caring about personal appearance
- Excessive risk-taking
- Fixation on death and dying
- Physical complaints, like stomachaches, headaches, and extreme tiredness
- Trouble concentrating
- Feelings of wanting to die
- Lack of response to praise
A person is at risk if they show signs of plans to die by suicide. They may:
- Give away favorite possessions and throw away important belongings
- Become suddenly cheerful after a period of depression
- Express bizarre thoughts
- Say, “I want to kill myself.”
- Say, “I’m going to commit suicide.”
- Say, “I won’t be a problem much longer.”
- Say, “If anything happens to me, I want you to know ….”
- Alcohol abuse can lead to suicide through impulsiveness, disinhibition, and poor judgment, but it may also be used to alleviate distress during suicide attempts.
The best description of depression is found in Shakespeare’s Hamlet: “I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises…”
Depression favorably responds to physical exercise, as examined in my book, Healing Depression by Degrees of Fitness (2019), inspired by never treating a physically fit depressed patient.
Six suicides are recorded in the Bible, including the Apostle Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Jesus, but no book offers more hope to the discouraged than the Bible.
Psalm 30, authored by King David, expresses gratitude and healing after distress or illness.
“I will extol You, O Lord, for You have lifted me up,
And have not let my foes rejoice over me.
2. O Lord my God, I cried out to You,
And You healed me.
3. O Lord, You brought my soul up from the grave;
You have kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit.
4. Sing praise to the Lord, you saints of His,
And give thanks at the remembrance of His holy name.
5. For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for life;
Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning.”
– Psalm 30: 1-5.
Robert S. Brown, MD, PHD a retired Psychiatrist, Col (Ret) U.S. Army Medical Corps devoted the last decade of his career to treating soldiers at Fort Lee redeploying from combat. He was a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Professor of Education at UVA. His renowned Mental Health course taught the value of exercise for a sound mind.