Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct. Galatians 6:4-5 NLT
Comparisons abound year-round, but maybe most at Christmastime. How often do we make comparisons about
- who gets the most presents?
- who does the prettiest gift-wrapping?
- who was first to complete all gift-shopping and card-writing?
- who gets the most fawning attention at the family gathering?
- who has the best-decorated house and yard?
- who has the most photogenic family on their Christmas card?
- who has the annual family newsletter that recounts the most successes?
- who has the most beautiful tree?
- who shows up at the Christmas gathering in the best vehicle?
- who has the most relatives they will be with over the holidays?
- who will be celebrating in the most exotic (and expensive) location?
- who has the most delicious and visually-appealing Christmas dinner?
- whose holiday posts on social media get the most likes and shares?
- whose children look most adorable in their matching pajamas?
The possibilities are endless.
In love, God gives us an off-ramp for all that comparing by telling us “Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life” (Gal. 6:5 The Message). If we stay occupied trying to live our lives and make the most of what God has given us, we won’t be sidetracked by constantly using others as a yardstick to measure ourselves by.
The article “Gratitude: A Medicine for the Mind and Soul”* explains how thankfulness (and a lack of comparisons) can serve as an antidote to anger and extend happiness.
“Gratitude transforms how we interact with the world….It shifts our focus from what we lack to what we have. Let me illustrate with this parable.
“A man rode his old bicycle through the city, feeling dissatisfied. He noticed a shiny new car driving past and thought, ‘If only I had a car like that instead of this bicycle.’
“Inside the car, the driver was stressed about loan payments. Seeing the cyclist, he thought, ‘I wish I could be carefree, like that cyclist, without these financial burdens.’
“At a nearby bus stop, a person waited. Watching the car and bicycle pass by, he thought, ‘I wish I had a bicycle or a car. It would be much more convenient than waiting for this bus.’
“Down the road, a person in a wheelchair observed the bicycle, the car, and the bus stop commuter. She thought, ‘How I wish I could stand and walk, even just to wait at a bus stop, ride a bicycle, or drive a car.’
“Finally, in a hospital room overlooking the street, a terminally ill patient lay in bed, gazing out the window. He thought, ‘I’d give anything to be out there, even in a wheelchair, just to feel the sun and breathe fresh air again.’
“Each person longed for what another had, forming a chain where the simplest blessings of one were the deepest wishes of another. Thus, we should avoid looking at what we lack and focus on and appreciate what we already have.”
President Theodore Roosevelt claimed, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
This Christmas season and as we enter a new year, will you let envy eat at you as you focus on what others have, or will you focus on the blessings you already enjoy?
The choice is yours, and it’s a choice you get to make day by day, moment by moment.
The greatest gift of all is peace with God through His Son Jesus Christ, whose birth we celebrate at this time of year. Have you confessed your sins and accepted the forgiveness and new life that comes through Jesus?
Although rising above comparisons and jealousy is difficult, it is possible. Moreover, a crucial first step is finding our identity and worth come from being in a relationship with Jesus, not from playing the never-ending game of comparing ourselves with others and always seeking to climb just one rung higher in life, thinking the next one will make us happy.
Many of our problems with comparisons and a lack of contentment come from unhealthy boundaries. That is, knowing what is or is not your responsibility. The Lieutenant Governor of Virginia, Winsome Sears, recently posted this to her social media account:
“You are not responsible for making this time of year special or magical for everyone around you.
Jesus already did that.”
Make it real: Put a notebook on your nightstand and each night, before sleep, write at least three things you are grateful for. Even secular psychology finds many positive outcomes from keeping a “gratitude journal.” As you embrace this new habit, what do you observe happening to your attitude, circumstances, and sleep habits?
Go Deeper: Learn more about healthy boundaries from Christian authors Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend here.
*Dec. 4, 2024 Epoch Times, authors Makai Allbert, Robert Backer, and Yuhong Dong
S.D.G./S.G.D.
