My Haitian friend, Stevens, came up with this expression during a conversation we had over Thanksgiving on forgiveness- and trust. As we drove a wildly circuitous route to the airport “dictated” by a smart-phone-map-app, I commented that I needed more than a drop of trust. Man, I needed a bucket.
I had settled on a route to Richmond International Airport from our location in West Virginia: 81 to 64 to 295. Even though it was longer distance-wise, it would surely avoid the highly anticipated gridlock on 95. I added an hour’s buffer for peace of mind (ha!) and off we went.
Well, when we merged onto 81, it was bumper-to-bumper traffic due to an accident some 22 miles away. Stevens activated the app to determine a quicker route by which we would be backtracking to 95. It was a bit disconcerting how much I did not want to do this. I had planned our route, and the new one was not it. But a missed flight for him and friend, Anderson, was certainly not an attractive option either.
So I had to trust. In Stevens – and in that dang app. At every juncture it would identify road construction, accidents, slow downs and, ultimately led us over “hill and dale” on a most unusual path. Periodically I would inquire of Stevens, “Are you SURE you typed ‘airport’ in that thing?” He would, in keeping with his good nature, laugh off my anxious and unrelenting questions, and offer soothingly in his happy accent, “It’s OK, Caroline, we’re gonna get there.”
Only on the drive home (after having arrived at the airport pretty much exactly on time) did I consider the larger metaphor in all of this. How God – when we trust Him – just might be our GPS. And boy, does our life’s path take unexpected twist and turns, often ones we don’t want and certainly never planned. And we dig in our heels in, question without ceasing and “demand” to stick with what we know.
Just like I did. A counselor once told me we are attracted to the familiar even though the familiar is bad. Voila! I wanted to stay on 95 because it was familiar and which, not surprisingly, turned out to be bad (in places). When I surrendered and trusted, however, we reached our destination much faster, via a more scenic albeit “adventurous” route. It actually turned out better than I planned. Imagine that.
Life can too. By His ever gentle, guiding hand.
Now back to the conversation on forgiveness and trust – broken trust actually. Stevens asked me how I handle these things. I hesitated and replied that although forgiveness has come more easily, trust has not. I tried to conjure Frederick Buechner’s words on the former, “For both parties, forgiveness means the freedom again to be at peace inside their own skins and to be glad in each other’s presence.”
I recently read another wonderfully accessible definition in an article, “The Scientific Case for Forgiveness” by Mike McHargue: “Forgiveness is accepting what happened to you and moving on without wishing harm on the one who hurt you.” I happen to agree with McHargue on many of the points he makes, particularly that forgiveness is a continual process.
And restoring broken trust? Even more so. Only by God’s shattering grace can we do either “successfully.”
CS Lewis writes, “To love involves trusting the beloved beyond the evidence, even against much evidence.” Wow, how can we possibly do that with our wicked hearts and suspicious minds?
Dr. Ken Baker describes loving God with our minds in a recent sermon. I had never really pondered that, but it occurred to me that loving others, especially those who have hurt or betrayed us, may just start there too.
Author John O’Donohue penned an exquisite blessing for broken trust which ends like this: “Often torn ground is ideal seed that can root disappointment deep enough to yield a harvest that cannot wither. A deeper light to anoint the eyes, passion that opens wings in the heart, a subtle radiance of countenance: the soul is ready for its true other.”
A friend, Michael, who I originally met in Haiti shared with me that he believes everyone deserves a second chance. The foundation for that “second chance” is forgiveness yet the building blocks are often daily decisions to trust, which can be downright arduous for some of us.
The ripple effect of trust though, beyond the evidence, can reach oh so far and wide- whether it be trust in the Maker of all that is seen or unseen, in an outcome you don’t see or in the person across the room from you.
I also recently read that thankfulness changes the trajectory of our hearts. Trust, my friends, can change the trajectory of our very lives…
Beyond what we could ever ask for or imagine.
