What better way to ring out the old and bring in the new year than with a year-end Wild Bill recap.
2014 was a one-of-a-kind year in the column.
I’ve got to first thank all my readers for their support. There’s nothing better than to have any of you stop me in my tracks to agree, disagree or burst into laughter about the weekly goings-on in this column.
Obviously, the first thing that draws a crowd is the flamboyant and outrageous Loudmouth pants I typically wear to games. Heck, somebody has to bring a little fashion to these contests. Accordingly, I’d like give a big shout-out to my Loudmouth coordinator, Cassie, for making all this possible. And, a big thumbs-up to all the coaches, athletes, referees and fans who always seem to have a comment about my “la mode de jour.” For you non-French speaking guests, that’s “the fashion of the day.” Yep, you always learn something when you read this column.
Congratulations go out to each and every high school athlete who competed in any sport during the year. The commitment, toughness and determination you exhibit is amazing. In the eye’s of this column, all first-team standouts.
2014 was an exceptional year for the column’s football predictions. Two perfect no-miss weeks highlighted the 12-week slate of games that ended up with over 80% of the Ouija wonders correct. Just the thing that kept The Chief happy.
One of the more interesting occurrences this year was the column’s mysterious hookup with the Carroll Righter Hollywood cult crowd. Looking for a little help from a noted soothsayer after a so-so week-one prediction performance, Righter, known as the “Astrologer to the Hollywood Stars” in the 80s, came to the rescue via a Ouija session for the ages.
With Righter’s influence on the planchette, week-two was a no-miss event that turned the tide for the season. To this day, if you Google “Carroll Righter Throws Leo Party in Hollywood”, you’ll see my column positioned firmly between videos of the Righter parties and a excerpt on Nancy Reagan, an associate of Righter during Ronald’s presidency. Hey, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.
The past twelve months gave us the best, and worst, of our periodic late-night product reviews.
On the up side, the toilet training contraption for cats garnered rave reviews as did the Purefresh deodorizing toilet seat and the Cosmic Catnip Blow Bubbles that were high on everyone’s list. Or, was that bubbles that made you high?
On the negative side, Perfect Polly, the flapping plastic bird that supposedly provides companionship as a conversationalist to the entire family, gives us reason to understand why there’s an sizable list of psychiatrists in the Yellow Pages. And, there seems little evidence that the GoPilot, the front-seat auto accessory that allows you to urinate while driving, has become a top-seller.
We now close out 2014 by taking a look at the VHSL Group 3A All-State Football Teams released this week that produced numerous selections from the “Big-11”. And, the Group 2A All-State selections from Glenvar, released earlier.
GROUP 3A:
FIRST TEAM ALL-STATE OFFENSE:
Hunter Boone; center; Hidden Valley
Nathan Thacker; offensive lineman; Lord Botetourt
FIRST TEAM ALL-STATE DEFENSE:
Nathan Thacker; defensive lineman; Lord Botetourt
Nate Atkins; linebacker; Hidden Valley
Bradley Lythgoe; defensive back; Lord Botetourt
Mason Dermott; defensive back; Hidden Valley
SECOND TEAM ALL-STATE OFFENSE:
Zac Foutz; tight end; Cave Spring
Tra’ Jackson; offensive all-purpose; Northside
SECOND TEAM ALL-STATE DEFENSE:
Carlos Basham; defensive end; Northside
Jacob Plaster; linebacker; Northside
Jelani Carter; defensive back; Northside
Tariq Harris; defensive all-purpose; Hidden Valley
GROUP 2A:
FIRST TEAM ALL-STATE DEFENSE:
Zack Deck; defensive lineman; Glenvar
Remington Stanley; defensive end; Glenvar
Group 2A Coach of the Year; Kevin Clifford; Glenvar
Until next week, I’m once again putting on my Columbo trench coat. Could it possibly be true that a local gourmet hamburger has been named after Wild Bill?
Add bacon, lettuce, tomato and super-hot Heather BBQ sauce, then send your inquiries to [email protected]. If 2015 is anything like ’14, we’ll really be cooking.\
– Bill Turner
