Tarantulas and scorpions get a bad rap. The stuff of nightmares, their Hollywood portrayals are never beneficent. Everyone knows they are lethal.
Tarantulas are large, sometimes exceeding 8 inches. They are hairy, brooding, and wait in ambush. Their bite is fearsome and deadly. They can jump several feet onto a victim. James Bond, 007, in ‘Dr. No,’ squashed one that had been sent to kill him, then went into the ‘loo’ to toss his secret agent cookies. (In fact, the actor Sean Connery had a morbid fear of spiders and they had to use a body double. The tarantula’s off-screen name was Rosie)
Scorpions are small and grumpy, always attacking instead of lying in wait. Their claws are always thrust out and their stinger always poised with unambiguous intent. Of course, everyone just knows that their sting can kill.
I lived in Texas for 17 years amongst these redoubtable murderers and have learned differently. Tarantulas are mostly easygoing and can be prodded with the toe of your boot without reply. Once, my son, of toddler age, came outside our Texas home with me. He turned the outside faucet on while I was in the garage. “Daddy, bug.” I said I would be there in a minute. “Daddy, big bug.” I said I was coming. “Daddy, huuuugggge bug!”
Turning the faucet on had flushed a ground dwelling tarantula up onto the wall of the garage, just on a level with his diaper. I ushered that huge bug into tarantula heaven with my bare hand. He was just a blue collar insect trying to get away from the water, but he was too close to ‘blood of my blood’, so he was dispatched.
That is the only time I killed one of them. They are shy and would much prefer to flee humans. No, they can’t jump high and attack. Their bite only causes trouble if the victim is allergic to it. Otherwise, it is no worse than a bee sting.
We built a hospital out in a former cattle pasture near the old Chisholm Trail. The natives told us you couldn’t exterminate the critters, you just had to outlast them. They were right. We had an atrium in the middle of the hospital. After a rain, we could go out and find tarantulas hanging onto the walls away from the water. We would bump them with our hands into a bucket and carry them out.
Of course, there were also scorpions. We had a set method of capture: you see a scorpion in the hall; you go get a clean specimen cup. Put it over the scorpion. Slide a piece of X-ray film under it so the bug stands on the film. Flip the cup over, remove the film and put on the lid. The one accommodation the patients had to make was they could never put their slippers on the floor. Scorpions are shy, retiring, and like to hide in warm dark places, like the toe of a slipper. Were the patients scared? No, they were Texans and accustomed to these guys.
What life lesson may we take from this? Of course, appearances can be deceiving. The movie, ‘ET’ taught us that a weird space alien may not automatically be a bad guy. Same with these two insects. Parenthetically, good appearance is no guarantee of good behavior. In the case of Hollywood, it is quite the opposite. Some of the most beautiful people have the most horrible habits and behaviors.
In the Bible, Satan is described as an ‘angel of light’ (2 Cor 11:14) so he can appear in a pretty face. His best dissemblage, however, is his persuading mankind that he is a buffoon: horns, pointy tail, carrying a pitchfork, red outfit (like Santa Claus with rabies), always tending these fires in the caverns of hell.
What a great trick! Face it, you really smart folks who are reading this now: you grin and perhaps permit yourself an indulgent chuckle over the notion that people of faith would try to insult your intelligence by getting you to fear this laughingly sinister Falstaff. Congratulations. The burden of your sharp mind has purchased you the biggest disinformation in the world. Ever.
Not all disinformation is physical. Look at the most repressive governments on earth. Every one of them has either ‘Peoples’ or ‘democratic’ in their name. Like O’Doul’s, the beer without the buzz, these countries are ‘democratic’ without the freedom.
The latest disinformation is Obamacare. Please realize that this is not a political observation. Both parties bought into this and Obama is no guiltier than all the rest. From a physician’s standpoint, I am troubled by the claim that all people will have health care. Wrong. Those people who have come in to ERs without insurance are the ones being forced to purchase it. They won’t. They will take their chance on staying healthy and use the money for other stuff. If they get sick, they will come in and we will care for them. They will then be fined an amount of money less that their insurance premium. I further expect that the fine will be forgiven.
What of the rest of us? My office always has a December crush with people wanting to get their surgeries, etc., done before the first of the year when Medicare deductibles restart. This year was horrific with my partner, Chris, and I just about camping out at the office. The reason for the change? Everyone was (and remains) afraid of Obamacare and wants to be seen before it ruins healthcare and all the doctors resign in disgust.
Let us all be wary. Not all scary stuff is bad. More important, however, is that an angel of light may come bringing lethal fire.
– Dennis Garvin
