Wild Bill’s Over The Top Sports Round-up

Well, I’ve got to give the Chief credit.

Our new bi-weekly print format and online up-to-the-minute sports has been a hit.

Since I don’t own a laptop, I lay in bed and have my wife read me my columns and game stories from hers. It’s like listening to Amos Alonzo Stagg or Paul Harvey right from the comfort of your own boudoir. For you out of state readers, that’s French for bedroom.

On to the local sports scene.

The 22nd annual Salem-Roanoke Baseball Hall of Fame takes place January 31st at the Salem Civic Center. Four new inductees will comprise the class of 2013 in ceremonies that begin with a social at 5:30, with dinner and the inductions to begin an hour later.

Tickets are available and can be purchased at the Salem Civic Center box office. Contact Charlie Hammersley (556-0377) or Gary Walthall (427-1977) for information.

Let’s get right to the updated Wild Bill ‘Big-11’ Top-5, where a huge shakeup from the last poll has taken place.

#1) William Fleming – The Colonels (13-4) win over Patrick Henry moves them into the top spot. If Fleming can hold serve in the Western Valley District with three of their final four district games at home, they may be the surprise champ. But PH will have a lot to say about that in the February 1st rematch.

#2) Patrick Henry – The Patriots (15-2) drop out of the top spot for the first time this year. No easy road for PH, with road games left at GW Danville and Fleming. Patrick Henry definitely has the guns to take back control of the Western Valley and return to the ‘Big-11’ top spot.

#3) Northside – The Vikings (13-2) stay in the third spot with a tough Blue Ridge District slate ahead. With their two-game lead in the district, Northside may well be in great shape for a deep run in the Group AA playoffs.

#4) Glenvar – The Highlanders (14-3) move to fourth despite a couple of losses in the tough Three Rivers. The next week will tell if Glenvar can maintain its position.

#5) North Cross – Poll-breaker North Cross makes its debut in the Top-5. The Raiders (10-3) keep winning and have a dominating inside duo of Bennett Holley and Peter Agba. North Cross will be tested Friday night when undefeated Carlisle visits the Raider gym in an expected shootout on Colonial Avenue.

In the “Couldn’t they have called ours off, too?” category, last week’s big snowstorm saw every area game on Friday postponed except for Hidden Valley – Cave Spring and Highland – Parry McCluer.

Both of these decided to play their girls/boys doubleheaders as scheduled. Highland would have possibly screamed “blizzard” if they had any idea of the results they would face before the night was over. Indeed, a blizzard is what they got.

The Fighting Blues of Parry McCluer outscored their opponents in the two games by a combined 155-38. Parry McCluer scored 18 or more points in 7-of-8 quarters of the twin bill, while Highland’s biggest quarter total in both was 6 points. Parry McCluer won the boys game alone by 69 points.

You’ve got to give Highland huge credit for just making the mountainous trip to Buena Vista on a night when the roads were still testy.

Tuesday night’s Patrick Henry – Martinsville game showed the Bulldogs are closing the gap. PH won in Bulldog territory by 9 points for their 15th win of the season. In their first meeting, the Patriots won by 67.

Now, to the Wild Bill late-night product review where this week we review the “Cami-Shaper”.

If you can get by without the ‘before and after’ pictures on this garment, the pitchman tells us the cami-shaper readily resolves lumpy problems, belly bulge and muffin-top.

From the looks of the ‘after’ shots, it’s hard to believe anything was resolved.

I asked my wife what a muffin-top was, and she answered “Oh, it’s something like cream cheese or cinnamon swirl.” I’m convinced she was mistaking the alternate noun form and describing what actually goes on top of a muffin; ie. the topping.

After some research, I discovered muffin-top is “the extra” that falls over a woman’s waistline. It’s an Australian slang introduced in 2003, and became word-of-the-year there in 2006. Obviously, the Aussies are hard-up for new words.

As a spin-off word, we now have the split-top muffin, used to describe seeing the muffin-top from behind, with jeans so low as to expose the top of the gluteal cleft. I’m not even clever enough to make this stuff up.

See, you always learn something when you read this column.

I’m giving the cami-shaper a neutral rating for the three-colors-for-one price-offer and free shipping. Further review is pending until I have the opportunity to talk to a muffin-topper, ‘before or after’, that is saddled with the malady.

Until next time, remember it’s probably the muffin-topping that brings on the muffin-top. With that being said, send your pastry comments to: [email protected]

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