Wild Bill’s Weekly Sports Roundup

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by Bill Turner

 It’s been a trying week for our publisher. High school sports is on hold with the well-deserved spring break in our midst, so games, athletes and the tank-top clad, good looking, warm weather fans are nowhere in sight.

That means no games to cover and a shortfall of pictures. No problem; we simply move to the Wild Bill Expanded Coverage to take up more room in print. So, read on, and hold on to your seat.

We have to wait until tonight (Friday, Apr. 13th) before our own Salem Red Sox open the home campaign at Salem Memorial Stadium. The 2012 Red Sox look imposing, so it should be a great year at the ball park. Add this year’s line-up of promotions lined up by GM Todd Stephenson, and Lewis-Gale Field will be the place to be for family fun throughout the summer.

I’ll be in the photo pit in the Red Sox dugout for many of the games, so lean over to say hi to the Wild One. That is, of course, except thirsty Thursdays, when I plan to be on the concourse to check out all the ……. well, you know ….. the opposing team’s outfield alignment.

The Masters concluded Sunday with a great win by Bubba Watson over South Africa’s Louis Oosthuizen in a riveting two-hole playoff. I’m convinced Bubba is the PGA TOUR golfer looking most like a rock singer, and Louis Oosthuizen now holds the record for the most vowels in the name of a second-place finisher.

We’ve now had fourteen different winners in golf’s last fourteen majors. That brings me to Tiger Woods. I’ve got to admit I was getting a chuckle out of Woods beating it all over the place, cursing and kicking clubs. Interesting how the golf gurus, prior to the tournament, were ready to hand Woods the trophy before Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus and Gary Player hit the ceremonial first shots Thursday morning.

High school baseball resumes next week as district play begins for most of our area teams. The Wild Bill ‘Big-11’ Top-3 holds steady with Northside, William Byrd and Lord Botetourt holding the 1-3 spots. Possible pollbreakers include Hidden Valley, after their impressive run in Rock Hill, SC last weekend, Cave Spring with a senior-loaded team, and North Cross, who’s had some sizzling bats in their VIC openers.

Many of our readers continue to comment on the Wild Bill product updates, so this week we take a look at two products in the world of magnets.

I’m skeptical about the first on our list, the newly promoted late-nite Magic Mesh. This gadget is a screen-like two-panel mesh that is connected by 18 magnets. Supposedly, this replaces opening a door, or even sliding a screen door to access your patio and outdoor BBQ.

The pitch shows people clamoring through this thing with nary a flinch, and the magnets immediately closing the opening with efficiency. To me, the closing sounds like a rattlesnake, which, living in a wooded area, concerns me that an actual reptile will take me unawares on the way to my grill.

The other problem I have with the pitch are the dogs happily running indoors through the Magic Mesh. What keeps your pets, if distracted, from running outside through the Magic Mesh, never to be seen again?

Hopefully, some of my avid readers who have given this a trial, will offer an opinion.

Next, in the magnet category, was one that took the cake. My wife and I were offered a free meal at a local restaurant last week to hear an informative health care offer. Amazingly, I couldn’t get info ahead of time if this was a Medicare supplement plan or a time-share in Hawaii that would make my cholesterol lower from being around macadamia nuts.

We attended, and this pitch was a lulu. A heal-all magnetic mattress (and other magnetic products) that cured virtually every malady known to mankind. Since I suffered from 80% of the list, I listened intensely. The crowning blow came when the affable guy asked if we knew how iron reacted to magnets. I, like others, pictured iron shavings jumping around toward a magnet like an Etch-A-Sketch. He then pointed out that a main component of blood was iron, thus the magnetic mattress would pull the iron in your blood to give you circulation never imagined.

I’m not offering an opinion yet, but since these gadgets seemed ultra-expensive to the naked wallet,  I’ll wrap myself in refrigerator magnets first, and hopefully won’t end up in the freezer compartment.

That’s enough magnetic pull for one week. Send your centrifuge to: [email protected]