Retired Judge Regales Roanoke Bar with New Book

Preside over a Circuit Court for 30-plus years and you probably hear some grim stories, right?  But there are bound to be lighter moments, as retired 24th Circuit Court Judge Samuel Johnston found out. He’s put some of them in a new book – Why Judges Wear Robes – and, weather permitting, he may have the Roanoke Bar Association in stitches when he addresses its members at the Shenandoah Club this Saturday Feb. 6 from 12 -2 p.m.

Johnston, who became a judge at the tender age of 30 in 1977, said, “The courts are a compendium of misery,” for the most part. “This [the book] is something I wanted to do to make people laugh, not cry. There’s enough sadness and futility.”  He sent four men off to be executed and presided over 9,000 divorce cases. “I didn’t want to relate that.”

On his first day in court – without a robe yet – he spent six hours on the bench with his zipper on his pants broken. So he didn’t take a break until late in the day, embarrassed to leave the bench until his wife could bring him an emergency pair of pants.  The incident inspired the title of his book.

Johnston tells a myriad of tales, from an ex-New York lawyer who didn’t quite have Southern jargon figured out, to a man who brought a tire covered in cow manure into the courtroom, and a prisoner who asked for a furlough – because his mother was suffering from prostate cancer. “That was a new one,” recalled Johnston, who checked with a doctor anyway just to make sure women couldn’t get prostate cancer.

Then there was the Lady of the Night who singled out men in the courtroom she had encountered, much to their embarrassment. Several ex-cons have shown up at his book signings with their copy of “Why Judges Wear Robes.” That pleased Johnston who said “I just want [ed] to be known as fair.”

Judge Johnston, who had to leave the courtroom three times during his career with fits of laughter from some of the goings-on, likely will have them rolling in the aisles at the Shenandoah Club this weekend.

By Gene Marrano
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