Well, the most anticipated football game of the year is here.
That means the most anticipated Super Bowl column is here to bring you a wealth of information.
No word yet at corporate headquarters whether The Chief is planning an extravagant Super Bowl party, but I’ve got my Don Julio tequila shooters ready just in case.
Regardless, from remote facts to what to expect during the game to those crazy proposition bets, I’ve got you covered.
I’ll be the first to admit that my Super Bowl column can’t quite match the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, but I do have Loudmouth apparel on my side, so there’s plenty of fashion for the taking, string bikinis notwithstanding.
Here we go with Super Bowl LI.
Ever wonder why Super Bowls are numbered in Roman Numerals? It’s because a football season runs over into 2 consecutive numerical years. Yep, you always learn something in this column.
Super Bowl I has no network footage because it was taped over later in favor of a soap opera. Obviously, no one had a Guiding Light.
72 footballs are designated for the Super Bowl. No jokes here about how long it would take to let the air out of all 72.
Of the 10 top watched television programs of all time, 9 were Super Bowls.
The Super Bowl is the second largest food consumption day, following Thanksgiving.
Got a pizza business that needs a little push? A 30 second ad during Super Bowl I cost $40,000; this year it’s estimated to be $5 million. That’s a lot of pepperoni.
Once its game time in Houston, Luke Bryan will sing the National Anthem and Lady Gaga will be the halftime performer. Stephanie (oops…I let that slip) ah Gaga seems as capable of a wardrobe malfunction as Janet Jackson. Keep your eyes open – or not.
In between all that, the New England Patriots will take on the Atlanta Falcons for all the marbles.
With all that background, all that food and beverage and assuming you own a television, it’s time to point you toward a friendly wager on the outcome.
New England is favored to win by 3 points. Check out the mailbag for my Ouija’s prediction.
While the final score of the game draws a lot of betting in Las Vegas, its other wagering, called proposition bets that make things crazy. A prop bet is basically how something will happen.
According to my Vegas source, Harry “The Weasel”, proposition bets once stood around 20; now you can pick from around 400. They make up about 60% of all wagers.
To open things, the betting line on how long it will take Bryan to sing The Anthem: over or under 2 minutes, 15 seconds. Take your pick. Will he wear blue jeans? 1/2 yes, 3/2 he won’t.
The most basic prop is the coin toss: heads or tails? The last 3, and 12 of the last 19 have landed on tails. That means nothing on this toss-it’s 50/50 for your bet at 105 (bet $105 to win $100)
Gaga says she’ll perform alone at halftime (solo bet at -140 is there for the taking) but, will there be a surprise guest? Beyonce (+330), Justin Timberlake (+450). No mention of Tony Bennett.
Will Gaga’s hair be blond? the odds are 1/4 yes, 5/2 any other color.
Color of Gatorade bath at the end? orange, green, clear and yellow are the favorites at +300; longshot blue pays +750.
Add to those whether the first score will be a TD, field goal or safety; the longest made field goal over/under 47.5 yards, either team scoring 3 straight times (yes -190, no +170); which team scores first, which player scores first, number of interceptions, the MVP and what color hoodie Bill Belichick will wear, and you’ve got the start for betting on just about anything Super Bowl related. You’ve got the idea- now, head to Vegas and cash in.
Lastly, I’m looking into the mail bag while I wait on The Chief’s party time call.
Dear Wild Bill: I know you Ouija. Any predictions on the Super Bowl? (Andy/Roanoke and Victoria/Salem)
The Ouija has been on vacation, but here’s what the planchette says: Looks like heads that New England wins because Belichick is drenched in orange. Good luck and stay clear of the artichoke dip.
Until next time, send your Super questions to: firstname.lastname@example.org