HAYDEN HOLLINGSWORTH: Attitude Is a Choice

Hayden Hollingsworth

Mark Twain is purported to have said, “I have lived a life filed with terrible things; some of them actually happened.”  Most of them probably didn’t.  Given difficult times it is easy to fall into the trap of a constant negativity.  Events today certainly supply ample fodder for that cannon.

With all the situations unfolding in the world it is very easy to wake up in the morning in a dark frame of mind.  When we sort through the chaff of “breaking news” there seems to be little which merits optimism.

I once knew a teenager who thought he had solved the problem of bad things that seemed to be surrounding him.  He decided that he would always expect the worst so he wouldn’t be upset when it actually happened.  If things turned out better than he had expected then he could be pleasantly surprised.

His mother, apparently a wise woman, told him that having a negative attitude like that would certainly reduce the amount of pleasure he would get out of life and soon everyone would be avoiding him since no one likes to be around a sourpuss.  To emphasize her point whenever he produced a negative view she would remark, “Well, ol’ Mr. P (essimist) is back in town!”  Whether or not that effected a change in her son, I can’t say but I would bet it did.

We have a choice as to how we view the daily events to which we have a reaction.  The lens through which that judgment is made is called perspective.  Rare is the situation which can be looked at in only one way.

Take, for example, a serious health challenge that appears without warning and will alter the life of the person in a very negative way.  No one can or should deny the seriousness of what has happened but it need not derail the lives of the people affected by it.

Here is a graphic example of that which I site with the permission of those involved.  Bert Spetzler, a well-known local orthopedic surgeon was involved in a major bicycle accident some years ago.  He was left quadriplegic and a person of lesser courage and strength (which would be most of us) would have accepted the grim future that lay ahead.

After three months in the Shepherd Spinal Center in Atlanta he had regained the ability to elevate his right shoulder and flex his right wrist, but virtually no other muscular function had returned.

With the help of family, physical therapists, and friends, bit by bit things began to improve.  Over many months, he achieved what most had thought was impossible:  He could walk with crutches, attend to many of the activities of daily living, and learned to drive a specially outfitted car.

He took a job with the Disability Determination Section of Social Security where he could use his medical knowledge to see that those who deserved disability benefits would receive them. The life he now leads, although vastly different from his amazingly vigorous former life, is filled with concern for other people and how he can be of benefit in his new world.

How could this have happened?  Those who knew Dr. Spetzler in his previous life probably weren’t surprised.  It was a matter of perspective.  He, his family, and his friends looked at the situation and in an unspoken alliance set about to make the most of what had the appearance of an unmitigated tragedy.

Even while at Shepheard’s he and his wife, Clarine, often commented on how fortunate they were in comparison to many of the patients and they spent time encouraging the families of those who were suffering.

Perspective made the difference.  How much easier it would have been to accept what fate had lain in their laps.  Instead they took the challenge by the horns and wrestled it into a manageable future.  One of the crowning joys was Bert dancing with his daughter at her wedding.  In typical style he gave credit to his friends who had carried him until he could walk again.

No matter how easy it is to fall into despair, we must never, never give up.  Look around and you will see many examples of that kind of attitude.  It can be a choice. It was the salvation for the Spetzler family and should inspire courage in each of us.

Hayden Hollingsworth

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