Here we go.
The most anticipated holiday column since Clement Clarke Moore inked “A Visit From St. Nicholas” in 1822.
Ironically, that work was first published on December 23, 1823 by a New York newspaper, “The Sentinel” – which happens to be The Roanoke Star’s original name.
Since then, the poem has circulated throughout the world, had its title changed to “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” and simply “The Night Before Christmas.” Moore himself was an author, publisher and early real estate tycoon . . . Sounds a little like a combination of Donald Trump and The Chief.
Moore wrote the poem during a sleigh ride while buying a turkey, read it only to his family and never thought much about it. Because of his “mere trifle,” as he called it 194 years ago, Clement Clarke Moore almost single-handedly defined our now timeless image of Santa Claus.
Yes, you always learn something when you read this column.
Now that I have you in the holiday mood, let’s move forward. No word yet from The Chief, but the talk around the water cooler is that year-end bonuses for our writers may be in record territory. Not sure if that’s record-high or record-low, but it’s right about this point you might expect to see one of those “Chief’s comments” added. (Editor’s note: the “records” of some writers are not always equal . . . and we weren’t exactly planning on voting for Bernie.)
As usual, I’ll send you into the Christmas spirit with a last minute late night product review to complete the hard-to-fill stocking. Read on before I shed some light on this gadget.
First, to local sports where the Roanoke Rail Yard Dawgs have four remaining December home dates at The Berglund Center. The Dawgs host Fayetteville on back-to-back nights Friday, December 16th and Saturday the 17th. Macon visits Roanoke on Friday, December 30th followed by a New Year’s Eve shootout with Knoxville. All games start at 7:05.
While there’s still a lot of VHSL All-State honors to be forthcoming, here’s a few that have been announced so far by the VHSL for our “Big-11” schools.
Group 4A All-State Volleyball Second Team: Salem’s Isabel Danstrum.
Group 3A First Team All-State Cheer Team: Kerighan Farrell (Northside), Claire Flowers and Michaela Garrett (Cave Spring) and Alyssa Woodward (Lord Botetourt).
Group 3A Second Team All-State Cheer Team: Katie Dooley and Aliyah Murrell (Lord Botetourt), Peyton Hurd (Northside) and Haley Clark (Cave Spring).
Congratulations go out to our pair of “Big-11” private school football teams after exceptional performances this season. Roanoke Catholic finished 11-1 by winning the VIS Division-III state championship (See today’s feature story), while North Cross finished 11-1 as runner-up in VIS Division-II. At press time, Salem had advanced to the Group 4A title game in Williamsburg.
On to volleyball excellence where Hidden Valley captured the Group 3A State Championship with a win over Blacksburg in the title match in Richmond, the second state title for the Titans.
Finally, it’s hard to argue that Christmas light displays have become extraordinary. I think it all started when we reviewed “The Star Shower” last year in what became a laughable disaster after reports of the red lights resembling certain body parts and the FAA claiming the displays were distracting pilots.
This year, lights are still on the front page, where we aim to please and your aim is likewise appreciated. Without further ado, I bring you “Bowl Light.”
“Bowl Light” is a small clip-on gadget that offers you 6 choices of colors to illuminate your toilet bowl. Pitched to be the perfect solution to finding your way in the dark, Bowl Light is a virtual Potty GPS that helps steer the user to the commode via a motion detector.
A small button gives you a choice of colors, and I can attest that the bright red light makes you feel like you’re urinating into a volcano. Skip that Hawaiian vacation. I give “Bowl Light” a five-star Wild Bill rating, and at $12.95 for a pair it’s a great value.
Until next time, to all my readers, as borrowed from Clement Moore, “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”
Bill Turner
