Wild Bill’s Sports Roundup

Bill TurnerThe Mummy’s update.

Many of you thought I was walking like The Mummy – but I have to tell you, even The Mummy didn’t have it this bad.

After walking a little crooked for over two months, turns out I had an ankle broken in three places.

Snowmobiling, 4-wheeling and covering sports on a broken ankle either shows I’m immune to pain or I’ve totally lost it. I’m leaning toward the latter, although a few draught beers could explain the former.

Upon hearing the news, The Chief immediately ordered me to the sidelines and told me to take time to fully recover. Of course, that doesn’t let me off the hook for this month’s feature article or this column. The Chief also told me that he’d heard a good cure was drinking very high quality bourbon whiskey.

A lot can be said of The Star’s corporate healthcare plan.

Well, Doc Adams of Gunsmoke fame would tell me to bite the bullet and get back on my horse. I’m taking his advice, so here we go with sports.

Congratulations go out to Sam Ftorek for being named the head coach of the Roanoke Rail Yard Dawgs ice hockey team. There’s plenty of buzz about the new entry in the Southern Professional Hockey League that will return ice hockey to the Berglund Center in October. The Roanoke Star will cover the team in what should be an exciting season anchored by the new energetic ownership.

The Roanoke Valley Sports Club goes west for its next guest speaker as current University of California-Irvine head basketball coach and former Patrick Henry High School player, Russell Turner, heads up the May 16th meeting at the Salem Civic Center. A 5:45 social will be followed by the 6:00 dinner meeting. Contact Maggie Drewry at 540-353-1103 for additional information or to purchase tickets.

Now, to the latest “Big-11” baseball and softball Top-3 poll as teams head into the stretch run of regular season play. In baseball, Hidden Valley holds down the #1 spot, followed by the Salem Spartans and Northside Vikings. On the softball side, undefeated Northside is the runaway #1 choice, followed by the William Byrd Terriers and Hidden Valley.

The Salem Red Sox sat atop the Carolina Southern Division standings at press time and the Salem Sox will have 11 home games in 14 days beginning Tuesday, May 10th. Salem will host Lynchburg, Wilmington and Winston-Salem during that stretch, with only a 3-game road trip to Lynchburg May 17-19 breaking up the two week stitch of games.

Finally, to this column’s much anticipated late-night product review, where this month we take a look at, well, let’s just say a really “hot product” – the XM42 flamethrower.

The flamethrower we know today came about during World War 1, the brainchild of German inventor Richard Fielder. Yes, you always learn something in this column.

All you need is pressurized gas, flammable thickened oil, a canister and a hose to get you up and running and ready to show off to the neighbors. A napalm-gas mixture gives you a flame range of about 50 yards.

We’re told a flamethrower is great for ground clearing, incinerating pesky weeds and insects, not to mention clearing brush, snow and ice. Plus, it’s legal in 48 of the 50 states, with only Maryland and California having laws regulating the use of these . . . “gadgets.”

Available for $699, and considering the costs of insect sprays, weed killers, mowers and snowblowers, I’m giving the XM42 flamethrower a 4-star rating, with the requisite warning it should only be operated by authorized personnel for safety reasons.

I just hope The Chief doesn’t ask me to flame throw on my bad ankle anytime soon. In this case, wobbly ankles could lead to prairie fires.

Until next time, sound the fire alarm and send your comments to: [email protected]

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