Forgiveness Part II

Dennis Garvin
Dennis Garvin

I had written a previous commentary published in The Roanoke Star about forgiveness, not knowing that a tragic contrast would underscore what I had written.  I should have been, lamentably, aware that our society would provide such a lesson in short order.

I am referring to the contrast between the Charleston murders and the Boston marathon bombing.  Within days of its occurrence, the beloved mourners of the Charleston victims confronted the agent of their sorrow and forgave him. FORGAVE HIM!  In the midst of their shock, their palpable grief, their nearly physical pain, they chose to embrace, rather than depart from, their faith in a God who enjoins us to forgive.

They could have shaken their fists in the face of the killer, and shaken their fists in the face of their God.  They could have turned their backs on a deity Who could permit such horror.   Instead, they took the countercultural step of clinging ever tighter to a faith so deeply rooted in their hearts as to be inseparable from their individual souls.  That this happened so soon after the tragedy makes the contrast with Boston so much greater.

On Wednesday, 24 June, the beloved victims and victim’s families of the Boston marathon bombing confronted that killer.  The two main chronological differences are that this confrontation occurred after a death sentence was passed; the other, that it has been two years since the Boston event.  Two entire years.

Where the Charleston sufferers forgave, the Boston reactions were noncathartic. The media report only one instance of forgiveness.  For the remainder, it was a uniformity of understandable and justified bitterness and rage.

Do not misunderstand – I feel tremendous sympathy for the Boston folks.  In fact, I have greater pity for them than for the Charleston folks.  The reason?  The Charleston people, in practicing forgiveness, have shed the burden of unforgiveness.  They can get on with the work of grieving and sorrow.  Two years beyond the Charleston murders, those survivors will not have the same emotional burden that the Boston survivors still have, two years after their event.

Two years after the event, the Boston folks, by their statements, reflect a sad reality.  Their emotional suffering is as great now as it was two years ago.  For the most part, by their statements, they are sad and bitter.  Their anger is biting; also, it is poisonous.  Please understand, this is by no means a judgment of them.  It is a diagnosis; however, it will only become a terminal circumstance if the patient acquiesces.

The Charleston Christians have availed themselves of the soul medication provided by scripture.  Bitterness and a desire for revenge are, over the long haul, toxic to the human spirit.  They have, by forgiving, refused to subject themselves to the mental and physical trauma of hatred: lost sleep, bitter fantasies, tormented stomachs, racing pulses, destroyed relationships, shortened lives.

I see these poor Boston survivors as having two burdens: their grief, and their bitterness.  To the secularist, I would reject any assertion that the two are inseparable.  When the victim puts them together, neither affliction heals and neither one resolves.  The victim has, sadly, volunteered for continued suffering.

Our legal system has guaranteed an appeals process for anyone under a death sentence.  These murderers may live another decade, during which time all those whom they killed will remain without breath.  Interviews with families of murder victims teach us that this is one of the greatest traumas they face:  the killer lives, eats, watches television; while their loved one has had all these things taken from them.

Forgiveness is the only antidote to this blinding unfairness.  It reduces the impact upon one’s life by the continued existence of their tormentor.  In fact, it robs him of his capacity to torment.

In my career as a physician/surgeon, I have always tried to choose the right prescription for a given malady; sometimes medication, sometimes surgery, sometimes just time itself.  In cases like these, ‘time does not heal all wounds.’  Even atheists will agree that the Bible contains some excellent medical advice; everything from the dietary laws to the timing of a circumcision.

Make no mistake; forgiveness is sound medical biblical advice.  Sadly, because it is such an abstraction and so countercultural, it is dismissed as yet another banality of ‘lunatic Christianity.’

Ultimately, forgiveness is about self-preservation.  When Confucius said ‘he who would seek revenge must first dig two graves,’ I think the conventional wisdom interprets this to mean that you must create a grave for your tormentor and for yourself.  Perhaps, he really meant that one grave was for your tormentor, while the other was for your peace; the peace that was the victim of one’s own vengeful spirit.

There are those who would say ‘How could a loving God permit this to occur?’  The God of scripture gave us free will.  He must honor that contract even when the violent and vicious among us use their free will to commit murder.

Where was God when these two events occurred?  He was, as always, in His heaven.  He was, as always, grieving over what some humans do to their fellow man.

Dennis Garvin is author of the book ‘Case Files of an Angel’ and co-author of ‘Growing up in Stephentown.’  Both books are available online at Amazon.com and Barnes&Noble.com

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