By Bill Turner
It’s London Olympics time in the Wild Bill studios, and I must admit these games have already shown their exceptional flavor.
I was hooked from the opening shenanigans when the Queen herself, dropped everything to join James Bond.
Got to admit, the Queen was quite the sport to play along with this gag. And, she played the part like a Broadway actress. Thumbs up to the Union Jack.
Guess it was good thing the Games weren’t in the United States. We could have only offered Barack Obama and Mitt Romney calling each other liars, with the only connection to Bond being Gold Bond Powder.
I’ve been constantly asked which sports have been the best. I’d say gymnastics, swimming and beach volleyball. Gymnastics and swimming for pure athleticism. Volleyball for……well, you know me and volleyball, the aerodynamic sport.
The biggest bummer for me? Dream Team basketball. What’s dreamy about watching someone pummel Angola and Tunesia? The average fan can’t stay awake, so I assume they are dreaming.
High school football practice started Monday amid conditions better than expected. Teams tee it up for season openers Friday, August 24th. Most Wild Bill ‘Big-11’ teams will get two games under their belts before August ends. It will offer fans a superb opportunity to perfect their tans before autumn arrives.
The two biggest changes come from Lord Botetourt, where former Cave Spring defensive coordinator Jamie Harless takes over as head coach, and North Cross, where the Raiders will be a member of the Old Dominion Football Conference.
2013 will bring even greater adjustment, as the new VHSL realignment and six-division classification system is on the verge of final approval.
We now move to the latest Wild Bill installment of late-night product reviews. This week we take a look the NutraBulllet, which to the naked eye, looks like a blender to me.
This gadget supposedly rips the cells apart of everyday fruits, nut and vegetables to derive a delicious elixer that cures virtually every malady know to man.
There’s a couple things in the pitch that draw my suspicions. First, the pitchman wears a handsfree microphone, despite being less than ten feet from his small captivated audience. I’ll give him a pass on that tactic-maybe he wants to look like Madonna or Lady Gaga in concert.
My big concern is the captivated audience, itself. They listen to how the elixer cures everything, pulling the nutrients of a concoction of banana, nuts, oils, water, blueberries and a few other things right from cell-blasted structures into a drink called a Nutrablast. This drink makes everything on you feel better.
The audience gets excited to the point they are all nodding their heads in agreement. Problem is, the guy hasn’t even started the blender yet. The feel-good element must be the anticipation. Sorta like turning on the Olde Brooklyn Lantern after 11 years in the closet.
A quick stop in the mailbag gets a couple interesting questions on Penn State.
Dear Wild Bill: Any guess on how long the fallout from the Penn State mess will last? (Dan / Covington)
I’ll guess ten years. Three players already bolted this week to NC State, Florida State and Southern Cal. Rest assured, solidarity or not, more are coming, only making matters worse. Shane Beamer told the Roanoke Valley Sports Club Monday night that Illinois sent 8 coaches to set up shop in State College. Could be quite an exodus.
Dear Wild Willy: Any idea where Joe Paterno’s statue ended up? (Mary/Martinsville)
Try Happy’s Flea Market, Mary. Everything goes through Happy’s.
Until next week, when I get bronzed, send your inquiries to: email@example.com