“Eighty-five percent of women diagnosed with breast cancer have no family history,” said Sharon Rapoport. “That’s the statistic that got me. That’s what made me – who had no family risk factors — decide to get checked.”
Roanoke native Sharon Rapoport and her husband John Anderson were living in New York running a successful marketing and advertising agency when their lives took an unexpected turn. Who would have guessed that research for a script she was writing for Lifetime television would be the spark she needed to go to the doctor – a decision that ultimately led to the detection of her breast cancer. “At the time I felt like I was the youngest person to ever have the disease,” she said. “Boy, was I wrong.”
This was just the beginning of a long battle for Sharon, her husband John, and their two sons who were ages 5 and 7 at the time. “I had a lot of cancer and my journey took a lot of bad turns,” Sharon recalls. “There was a lot of time when I thought I was going to die. I didn’t trust the doctors when they said ‘everything would be alright.’ I just FELT terminal.” As she chronicled the list of treatments and trials, events and milestones, it seemed impossible to imagine this healthy, vibrant woman had endured such a tough battle.
Sharon’s diagnosis was not the couple’s first experience with breast cancer. Her husband John had lost his mother to the disease before meeting Sharon and had lived through the experience again with his sister and a close family friend. “I remember apologizing to him at the doctor’s office,” she said. “I knew how much he had suffered already. I felt terrible.”
But, you know what they say about making lemonade out of lemons….
In this case it’s PINK lemonade and it comes in the form of a book. Sharon’s husband, John Anderson, recently published a book titled “Stand By Her” – in which he shares the unique perspective of being a man trying to help loved ones through the breast cancer process. While it certainly uses his experience as a context, it isn’t just a story. It’s more of a guide for men – a “how to.”
“I really encouraged John to write the book,” she said, gently putting her hand over her heart. “I felt it was so important for him – but also for all the people who could find comfort from the wisdom he has gained.” The book details the good times and the bad times – offering suggestions on how to handle everything from the shock of diagnosis; the physical challenges of surgery and treatment; sex and intimacy; to the anxiety of the unknown – what he calls “cancer purgatory.”
In the years following her diagnosis (in 2001) and successful treatment, the couple has become a huge advocate for the cause. Sharon serves as a committee chairperson for the Roanoke affiliate of Susan G. Komen for the Cure and is an active volunteer with the American Cancer Society’s Reach For Recovery initiative, a program that offers one-on-one interactions with survivors at the time of diagnosis. “I was blessed with an unbelievable support system throughout my illness,” she said. “It allowed me to be spiritually ‘up’ through so much of it.” Clearly, she understands the need to give back.
Sharon talks honestly about the emotional rollercoaster — from the fear of losing her hair and breasts to the anxiety of what her children would have to go through. “I had it all planned out,” she said. “I had a wig, but also a plan to wear it – even at night – so my kids wouldn’t be afraid of their bald mother if they got up in the middle of the night.” She wore the wig exactly once. “I felt like a phony,” she said. “I was sick. Why did I need to hide that?” Clearly this revelation was empowering for her on many levels. “We had a party where John and I both shaved our heads. It was great. I felt in control, if only for this one thing.”
Sharon is quick to explain that the experience is vastly different for each individual – both in terms of the screening process and the reality of a diagnosis. “We need to find ways to help women get over the fear so they can enjoy the reward,” she said. “For some the reward is a clean bill of health, for me the reward was on the other side of a tough battle. The reward was a wonderful life with new priorities.”
When asked what was the greatest gift to come out of her breast cancer experience, she gently replied, “you find out just how loved you really are. It’s beautiful.”
For more information about breast cancer, access to screening, or how to get involved, visit: www.KomenRoanoke.org
For more information about John Anderson’s Book, visit: www.StandByHer.org
By Stephanie Koehler [email protected]
