Summer Survival Strategies for Mom and Dad

Keith McCurdy
Keith McCurdy

Summer break is here, kids are out of school, vacations are in full swing, pools are open, are you worn out yet?  I know that I look forward to summer more and more the older I get.  The problem is that I forget that while summer is, in most of our minds, a break and time for relaxation, it presents a whole new list of challenges that if not managed well, can actually wear us out.  Then we are desperately looking for fall.  As some parents told me last week, “It is only two more months and they will go back to school.”  To keep summer fun and positive, here are a few ideas that may help.

Have a schedule or routine.  When there is a clear understanding of what is going to happen there are fewer unrealistic expectations.  A typical kids thought process may look something like this, “Today I am going to sleep in, followed by 4 or 5 hours of television and video games, then I will go to the pool and Oh, I can’t wait to get all of my Legos out all over the family room floor and then Johnny will come over to watch movies and do a sleepover and blah, blah, blah.”  At the same time Mom or Dad’s thoughts might be “We need to be up at 7 AM so that we can get to the dentist on time and then across town to pick up Aunt Mabel for her hair appointment.  Then we need to be back home by 11 to get the whole house picked up, vacuumed and dusted for the meeting tonight.”  Do you think these two paths may collide at some point?  If we put a few routines or schedules in place, a lot if this can be avoided.  An example of this might be telling the kids that after the house is cleaned up, they can go to the pool until 2, or letting them know in advance when an early morning or busy day is coming up. A little communication and scheduling will avoid much frustration.

A second idea that will also make the scheduling a bit easier is having healthy boundaries.  It is always humorous when I hear young kids tell me about what they think their summer days will be like.  I hear things like, “I am going to play video games all day long”, “I am going to live at the pool”, “I can stay up as late as I want, it’s summer.”  Yes, it is pretty much the same type of thoughts that I had when I was a child, and just as unrealistic.  By setting limits on the amount of time playing video games or watching television and by sticking to bedtimes, even though they may be later than during the school year, we give our children boundaries that help them and us to stay healthy.  Have you noticed how difficult it is to get up early and get to work when you gave in to temptation and stayed up to watch a late movie with the kids during the work week?  The rationalization was that it is summer and it is no big deal, then you feel the results the next day.  Or how about letting Johnny play video games all day and night only to then experience the result of a grumpy, irritable kid when you need him to help out around the house or get ready for swim practice?  Has it ever killed a kid to stay at the pool for just a few hours versus all day?  When we maintain healthy boundaries and limits, we all function better.  We have to be careful that we don’t view summer as a time to just throw out the healthy lifestyles that we have worked on the rest of the year.

The third strategy is to set a budget.  I have to admit that I am possibly the worst at running to get Slurpees and Big Gulps whenever my kids want.  It just seems like the summer thing to do.  The problem is that I am teaching the wrong lesson.  They are learning that wanting something means that they will automatically get it.  This is the beginning of building a child with a sense of entitlement.  A budget goes a long way in helping to avoid this.  When a child knows they have $5 at the pool for the week, they begin to add things up.  My son might get a $5 hamburger for the week and be done or get a $.75 popsicle on several days.  With the budget, I do not have to explain this to him, he will learn it experientially.  Often this lesson is learned quickly and then a child begins to be a little more careful.  The budget also helps us as parents evaluate all that we can do for and with our children over the summer and aids in the decision making process for camps and activities.

Summer can and should be a fun and enjoyable time for our kids.  Remembering a few strategies will aid in the process and make for an easier transition back to the more significant structure of school in the fall.  Have a great summer!

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